大学の部 2位
柳　晏貴子（立教大学）

The Dark Makes Our Future Brighter

 When I was 14, I started going to this school called ‘The Garden of Hope’. It sounds like it’s from a fantasy book or movie, but it was real.
 In contrast to its fancy name, it was not the happiest place to be. The Garden of Hope was a place for local teenagers who struggle to go to schools they are originally supposed to go to. Those students usually suffer from mental health issues caused by various reasons, such as trouble with their family or friends, lack of self-confidence, communication problems or school bullying. At the time, I was diagnosed with depression and other mental problems. After spending too much time just staying in my room, my teachers and my parents suggested me to go to this place.
 The days I spent at Garden of Hope were not so bad. There were normally five to ten students, with a similar number of teachers. Students studied on their own schedule, ate lunch in a circle and played cards in the afternoon.
 However, there was one negative thing about this place: it was too isolated from the real world. As I felt more comfortable being there, I became more scared of the world outside Garden of Hope. It was like living in the dark shade of a tree. You feel safe under loads of leaves, but the temperature is completely different from a sunny place. I was even hiding from other people the fact that I was going there, as well as trying not to bump into anyone on the street. So, one day, I consulted with a teacher at Garden of Hope and said, ‘I don’t know what to do to live a better life’. The teacher silently nodded and said, ‘I don’t want to tell you this, but nothing will ever happen unless you walk outside.
 Well, that was already 8 years ago, and now I’m 22. Over the past years I somehow learned to live through life and experienced a lot. I can now say that what my teacher told me was absolutely right. When I walked in the outside world, there were so many things to learn, so many people to talk to, and my life was filled with excitement.
 But life was still hard sometimes. Nevertheless, I occasionally lost all of my motivation and stayed in my room for a bit longer than other people would expect. While feeling down, I found myself thinking about something that didn’t come across my mind when I was 14. I was deeply concerned that there are many other people who share the same problems.
 In Japan, there is a rising number of so called “Futoukou” students, which means children who are absent from school for a long period of time. According to government data, the number of Futoukou students in elementary schools and middle schools is over 164,000 nationwide, and this figure has been rising every year since 2012. There is another related word used in Japan, called “Hikikomori”. This is a name for people who stay home for the whole time without going to school or work. Data from 2015 indicates that there are over 540,000 Hikikomori in Japan between the age of 15 to 39, and the word “Hikikomori” is now one of the most globally recognized Japanese words.
 As you can see, it is an undeniable fact that many people of all generations are staying inside their own Garden of Hope. As you may also imagine, because the underlying problems are different for each person, this is not an issue that can be fixed easily. However, I think it is not always a problem if it associates positively with people’s future.
 So, there is one thing that I want to change. That is, how Futoukou and Hikikomori are perceived in Japanese society. We somehow know that, thriving and having a blast in the outside world is more preferred than being isolated from society. This is a social bias that makes people’s situations even worse when facing difficult times. Although everyone experiences such situations, we somehow feel bad about the times we needed a break. What about you? Have you ever hoped to escape from reality? Have you ever wished or locked yourself in your own world? Many of you likely have, at least once.
 What we need is a society where everyone can find balance between both sides of the world, the outside world and their sheltered place. Even so, there are many people who hesitate to talk about such times of their lives because they are scared to see how other people will react. I was one of them, but not anymore. So as a member of this society, I want to be the one to say that I am here today because I took the time I needed. The time I spent suffering in my room and feeling isolated at Garden of Hope made me who I am today. And this is not just my voice. A lot of people I know, including my former fellow classmates at Garden of Hope, are walking in the world strong today. And I will continue talking about this until no one has to feel ashamed of where they are in life.
 Finally, I want to express my gratitude to the people who supported me when I went through difficult times. My teachers, my friends and my family, without these people, I would never be here today to encourage the whole society.
 To make a brighter future, we need to acknowledge the isolated, perhaps the darkest times of our lives.
 Thank you for listening.